School, Drool, and Other Daily Disasters Read online

  Justin Case

  Justin Case

  School, Drool, and Other Daily Disasters

  By Rachel Vail

  Illustrated by Matthew Cordell

  FEIWEL AND FRIENDS

  New York

  I thank the following master teachers, whose wisdom was so helpful in the process of writing this book: Karen Lisa Shain, Amy Liebov, Laura Strausfeld, Kate Chechak, Sonya Glasser, and Karen Kilbane. And send my deepest appreciation to my most enduring teachers: my parents, my brother, my in-laws, my husband, and my sons.—R.V.

  A FEIWEL AND FRIENDS BOOK

  An Imprint of Macmillan

  JUSTIN CASE. Text copyright © 2010 by Rachel Vail.

  Illustrations copyright © 2010 by Matthew Cordell. All rights reserved. Distributed in Canada

  by H.B. Fenn and Company Ltd.

  Printed in March 2010 in the United States of America by R. R. Donnelley & Sons Company,

  Harrisonburg, Virginia. For information, address Feiwel and Friends,

  175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available

  ISBN: 978-0-312-53290-1

  Book design by Barbara Grzeslo

  Feiwel and Friends logo designed by Filomena Tuosto

  First Edition: 2010

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  www.feiwelandfriends.com

  To Liam—R.V.

  For Julie and Romy—M.C.

  Justin Case

  Contents

  Justin Case

  September 1, Tuesday

  Okay, yes. I’m worried.

  Already.

  I can’t help it.

  September 2, Wednesday

  Seven days to go until the start of third grade. I can’t sleep. I’m not getting onto a good schedule. I’m still on a summer schedule. But worse.

  Everybody else is asleep. Mom, Dad, Elizabeth—they’re all snoring, and I’m still up. Listening. To the silence.

  It’s very loud, the silence in my room. I’m flopping around my bed, tangling in my blankets. My pajamas are starting to itch. My stuffed snake, Snakey, is giving me an evil look, like he might come to life and bite me.

  I know that is not possible and I definitely don’t believe in stuff like that anymore.

  Just in case, though, I’m now sitting up, with my heart pounding, throwing blankets on top of Snakey. It’s not working. I know he’s still in there, under my blankets, with his venomous stuffed teeth and glassy eyes.

  I’m more awake than ever.

  If I don’t get enough sleep, I am a disaster.

  Sometimes I am a disaster anyway.

  And I don’t just mean at ball sports.

  September 3, Thursday

  The class lists came—finally!

  My new teacher is named Ms. Burns. I don’t think that sounds too good. Burns? She is brand-new to the school. I have no idea if she will be nice or mean, old or young, pretty or an evil witch.

  Of course I don’t believe in evil witches.

  At least, during the day I don’t.

  My little sister, Elizabeth, is starting kindergarten. She got Ms. Amara, my old kindergarten teacher, the best teacher in the entire world.

  If I could have Ms. Amara again, everything would be fine.

  But I don’t.

  So it’s not.

  I have Ms. Burns, who could be anything. She could hate me. She might hate kids with curly hair or blue sneakers. (I should have gotten the white like Mom said to.) Ms. Burns could be a loud teacher. She could be a yeller.

  Oh, I hope she is not a yeller.

  Third grade will be horrible if I have a yeller for a teacher.

  She might make us sit in rows. I might get seated behind my second-best friend, Noah, who is also on the list for Ms. Burns, and who has an extremely large head. If that happens I will never be able to see the board because of that large head of his.

  I will fall behind and never catch up. Ms. Burns will think I am stupid. All because of Noah’s extremely large head. He will not be my second-best friend anymore, if that happens. I mean it. I hope he got a haircut at least. He has extremely large hair, too.

  I have to call Noah and see if he got a haircut.

  September 4, Friday

  Noah’s family is away in Ohio so I got their machine.

  Mom said to stop worrying about Noah’s hair. Obviously Mom never had a second-best friend as large-headed as Noah.

  Unfortunately, Mom got the idea to cut my hair. She held up a mirror afterward and asked how I liked it. “I hate it,” I said, because I looked awful, like an athlete. I don’t want to look like an athlete. I want to look more like a journalist or a researcher, more messy. She said, “Oh, Justin.”

  Elizabeth, who had been in the living room for most of my haircut before she twirled off somewhere, came back in with a big story clogging up her whole wet mouth. She stopped mid-sentence and asked me, “Who are you?” I told her not to be ridiculous, I was Justin, her brother, which she totally knew. She said, “You don’t look like Justin.”

  I told her I had just gotten my hair cut, and that she knew that because she had seen me getting it cut and also I was still sitting on the stool with the black robe on me and my hair in drifts all around the floor.

  She squinted and said, “Are you sure you’re Justin? You look more like an athlete.”

  September 5, Saturday

  We’re visiting Gingy and Poopsie for Labor Day weekend. Gingy and Poopsie are good grandparents except for a few things:

  1. They have a cat. Cats walk like prowling predators, like they want to eat my toes for lunch. Even their cat, Mr. Stripes, who is so old his fur looks like it’s been through the washing machine.

  2. Gingy makes Jell-O. Food shouldn’t jiggle, in my opinion.

  3. Poopsie keeps yelling at Gingy, “Did you take your pills? Don’t forget to take your pills!” and also, “Did you give the kids their Jell-O? Give them some more Jell-O. Justin loves Jell-O!” Poopsie has trouble hearing so he yells all the time in case everybody else has the same problem.

  4. We’re visiting them not at their house but at their beach condo, where we all have to sleep in the same room because that is the only room.

  5. Everybody snores.

  6. There could be sharks.

  September 6, Sunday

  There aren’t sharks.

  But there is a LOT of Jell-O.

  September 7, Monday

  This morning I couldn’t find Wingnut.

  I was not being overly dramatic. I was being underly dramatic. How would Gingy feel if she couldn’t find the thing she loves most in the world? I wasn’t being fresh; I was just asking.

  Later, we found him. He had gotten mixed in with the laundry. Phew. Now Wingnut’s fur is a little more matted (like Mr. Stripes, but I didn’t say so) and he smells soapy, but I don’t care because at least he’s back. I’ve had him since I was born and he was a puppy. His ears aren’t silky on the insides anymore but I still like to rub them. I felt like not-me while he was gone.

  When we got all the sand showered off us and slimy lotion gunked onto us (for our sunburns) and we went into town for dinner, I got the answer to my question.

  Gingy would be annoyed if she lost what she most loves.

  Poopsie wasn’t actually lost or mixed in with the laundry; he just didn’t realize we were being seated and he was reading a book about gardening in the bookstore while we all frantically looked for him so we could eat already.

  Gingy called him some names I am not allowed to say.

  September 8, Tuesday

  Tomorrow is the first day of third grade.


  Mom said to focus on the bright side.

  Well, Xavier Schwartz is not in my class this year. That’s bright.

  No. It’s not helping. I’m still focusing on the dark side.

  Like what if Ms. Burns thinks boys and girls should never be partners? Some people think that, even some kids. If Ms. Burns thinks boys and girls have to hate each other, I will never get to be partners with Daisy, who is my best friend, who has shiny soft hair, a quiet voice, and a pet gecko.

  So I am focusing on maybe Daisy and I will stop being best friends this year, even though we’re in the same class again for the fourth year in a row, all because she is a girl and I am a boy and maybe Ms. Burns will think we should hate that about each other.

  A fire engine siren is blaring toward us. I have to decide fast whether to climb down my ladder and wake up my parents so we can evacuate and not get burned up. I’m losing precious seconds deciding.

  Okay. The fire engine seems to have gone somewhere else.

  Sometimes my heart pounds so hard it feels like it will break my ribs.

  September 9, Wednesday

  Elizabeth twirled in her first-day-of-kindergarten dress as Mom and Dad smiled proudly at her. Mom said, “I can’t believe our baby is going to kindergarten.” Dad put his arms around Mom and they hugged each other.

  I didn’t hear anybody say, I can’t believe our older child is going to third grade, or hug each other about that. Instead Dad said, “Justin, why are you still in pajamas?” and then said the word hurry, like, ten times.

  I hate the word hurry. It makes my stomach scrunch.

  I ended up swallowing some toothpaste, which is not, in my opinion, an important part of a nutritious breakfast.

  On our way to school, Elizabeth held hands with both my parents and swung between them. I was thinking maybe I’d just take a short break and sit on the sidewalk for about 100 years. But I didn’t. I kept going.

  Unfortunately.

  The way I am staying positive now is pretending I just nightmared the disaster that happened at school after I got to my classroom and that when I wake up, it will be the first day of third grade all over again.

  September 10, Thursday

  No such luck. It really happened.

  September 11, Friday

  There was a mix-up. That’s what the principal said the first day. A “mix-up.” They put me on the wrong class list. He apologized to us, twice, then bustled down the hall to his air-conditioned office like it was no big deal.

  So all that worrying about sitting behind my large-headed, large-haired second-best friend Noah was for nothing. Because I’m not even in his class. Or my best friend Daisy’s class, either. Or Ms. Burns’s class.

  No. I am in the other class.

  Ms. Burns, it turns out, does not look like a wicked witch. She looks, in fact, like the complete opposite of a wicked witch.

  The opposite of the teacher I actually have.

  Ms. Termini.

  I am not even kidding. That is her real name.

  Say it out loud and you will know why the only way for me to look on the bright side now is to hope maybe we will move soon.

  I looked in the newspaper this afternoon for new jobs for my parents and I think there are some possibilities if they would just keep their minds open about New Jersey.

  September 12, Saturday

  Noah thinks he is in love with Ms. Burns.

  There are 179 days left of third grade.

  I may not make it.

  Noah also said he read an article on the Internet that a kid was smashed into bits by falling off his top bunk bed. He said he sure is happy he doesn’t sleep on a top bunk bed.

  I don’t even know why he is my second-best friend, sometimes.

  No movement on New Jersey yet, despite all my arguments.

  September 13, Sunday

  It’s Sunday so I am supposed to be relaxing.

  I’m not.

  First I had to move all my stuffties down to the bottom bunk bed.

  Now I’m thinking about what my actual teacher, Ms. Termini, said when she closed the classroom door that first day, with me in her room instead of where I should have been, next door with Ms. Burns, who has hair down to her belt and also my two best friends in her class.

  Ms. Termini said, “Good morning, students, and welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.”

  Everybody sat very still at that. Even Xavier Schwartz.

  Then she said she had only two rules. She held up one long, bony finger and said, “Work quietly, with complete attention, concentration, and excitement about learning.”

  Then she lifted a second finger and said, “Treat yourselves, one another, me, and this classroom with respect at all times.”

  She asked, “Understand?” and looked right at me, like she doubted I did understand. I nodded so fast my head almost rolled off my neck, even though I had already forgotten both rules. They were too complicated. Each rule was like six rules rolled up into one.

  I have spent the whole weekend so far trying to remember the rules and memorize them. Because Ms. Termini seems like the kind of teacher who might give us a quiz on her dumb rules. I keep writing them down as best as I can remember but they make less and less sense the harder I try.

  September 14, Monday

  She gave us a quiz.

  It wasn’t on her dumb rules, at least. It was on math. Math is my best subject.

  I think I managed to get zero answers right anyway, because Mom made me wear shorts today because of the heat, so my thighs got stuck to the chair and when I tried to peel one off, it was only a partially successful peel.

  I had to use all my concentration not to scream in agony.

  So I had nothing left for math facts.

  I may even have misspelled my last name, which is practically impossible to spell even on a good day: Krzeszewski. Today was not a good day. I think I might have added an extra Z or two in there somewhere. That happens sometimes when I get worried.

  Most people just call me Justin K., because Krzeszewski looks like somebody fell asleep and their head rolled around on the computer keyboard.

  I am thinking of asking Gingy and Poopsie if they would enjoy adopting me. Even Mr. Stripes and Jell-O would be better than this torture.

  Also their last name is Jones.

  September 15, Tuesday

  Elizabeth is adjusting beautifully to kindergarten, I heard Mom brag to Gingy on the phone.

  She didn’t mention if I was adjusting beautifully to third grade.

  And she doesn’t even know about the gym teacher, Mr. Calabrio, whose muscles stretch his T-shirt out so it looks like a superhero costume. Mr. Calabrio has high expectations for third graders.

  Gym is not my best subject.

  Mr. Calabrio does not look like the type of guy you want to disappoint, though.

  September 16, Wednesday

  Ms. Termini showed us her sheet of Superstar stickers.

  They are very rare. She got them in London, England.

  Good behavior gets you a Superstar, in her class. The person with the most Superstars at the end of the month wins a prize.

  I looked around at the other kids in the class. I knew most of them from the past few years of recess even if they weren’t in my class before. I tried to figure out where I ranked of the 22 of us in terms of behavior. I decided maybe somewhere between nine and thirteen.

  “Who wants to win the prize?” Ms. Termini asked.

  “Me!” Xavier Schwartz shouted, jumping up from his seat.

  “Then I suggest,” said Ms. Termini, “that you not yell out.”

  Xavier Schwartz slumped back down into his chair with red circles firing up his cheeks. He’s definitely number twenty-two.

  “If you are ready to start an amazing third-grade year,” whispered Ms. Termini, “raise your hand.”

  I wasn’t sure if she meant raise your hand right now, or raise your hand in general instead of yelling out. I have to get
good at peeking around.

  September 17, Thursday

  Ms. Burns doesn’t give out Superstars for good behavior.

  Unlike my teacher, Ms. Termini, Ms. Burns doesn’t talk that much about behavior. Probably she doesn’t have to, because all the good kids (except me) are in her class. Also, some of them, well, Noah, just sit and stare at her all day because they are (he is) in love with her.

  It is disgusting. I couldn’t eat my lunch at all because of how he was talking about her all lovesick. And I was very hungry.

  My stomach was disruptive and could have gotten me put into time-out. I spent the afternoon hoping Ms. Termini does not have good hearing.

  I still have zero Superstars.

  Montana C. has three.

  I hate Montana C.

  September 18, Friday

  Daisy ate lunch with Montana C. and Montana B. instead of with me.

  Still no Superstars for me. Six of us have zero.

  I am in the Xavier Schwartz group of Superstar Failures.

  September 19, Saturday

  My stuffed animals are having a war. Nobody is getting along at all. Wingnut has to sleep on my pillow to get away from the fighting, and Snakey, who had been sleeping on the Pillow of Honor (which I made at my cousin Lydia’s birthday party last year) because he was the newest stuffty, is in time-out.

  His job was to scare off bad guys.