Well, That Was Awkward Read online

  “Don’t worry,” Riley said. “I’ll help you, Sienna. We all will. We all think you two make an adorable couple. Oh!”

  AJ was walking in, his long legs lunging through the entryway.

  “Did you bring money to support their ‘noble’ cause?” Riley asked AJ.

  “Oops,” AJ said. “I forgot.”

  “No worries,” Riley said, and handed him five dollars. “Here! Support them!”

  AJ gave me the five and then handed out seven cupcakes to whoever wanted them as they came in, but meanwhile ate/inhaled three himself. He said they were great, which made Sienna smile but then look down and rearrange the rows of cupcakes we had left.

  I told him there was frosting on his chin. He thanked me, wiping it off.

  When he got to school, Emmett paid his dollar for two cupcakes and chose the most misshapen ones on the table. He said it was because he likes them weird-looking, but I think maybe it’s because he thought nobody else would buy them. But who really knows what somebody else actually likes and why? Maybe Emmett just has odd taste.

  Then we had to hurry and get rid of the trash, to move on with the day. I tucked the $47.50 we’d made into the envelope I’d brought for it, which I’d give to Dad, who’d write a check for it to send to firstbook.org for me. He usually adds a little to the tally. “Just rounding up,” he always says.

  I shoved the stash deep into my backpack, and then we ran up to math, where the test had already started. “Sorry, sorry,” I said, and got to it. We all grumbled after, but really, the math test was fine.

  The awkwardness at lunch was less fine.

  On our way there, Sienna finally whispered to me, “You told Riley that I like AJ?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “That’s not . . .”

  “You’re the only one who knew.”

  “I didn’t . . .”

  “It’s okay,” Sienna said. “It’s just—”

  “Sienna, I . . . That’s not how—”

  “I get it,” Sienna said, sitting down at our usual spot. I sat next to her. “You were trying to not fight with her or whatever, over the Dorin thing, but . . .”

  “No,” I said. “That’s not—”

  “Let’s talk about it later,” she whispered as Emmett and AJ sat down across from us. We ate our sandwiches in grim silence, no eye contact, no chatting, no smiling. We all used to have so much fun. Like, last week.

  Time flies. I never fully got that expression before today. Tempus fugit. Sounds like ancient Latin cursing. It sort of is, I guess.

  Because now that tempus has fugit, everything is awkward and nobody can even eat or talk. Only Riley was chatting. Flipping her hair around. She had sat down on the other side of Sienna and kept bumping her with her shoulder, trying to include both Sienna and AJ in her boring conversation. But Sienna and AJ just sat there, not responding. Nobody was responding that much, not even Harrison, who is usually Riley’s best audience even though she ignores him, so ultimately even she stopped saying things, and didn’t eat more than three sections of the sad little tangerine that was her whole lunch.

  AJ left half his sandwich. AJ. Until today nothing had ever stopped him from gobbling up everything. During gym activities, I mentioned it to Emmett, to ask if he thought that was weird.

  “Deeply,” Emmett said. “Last month AJ was sleeping over one night and we went to the kitchen to get a snack at, like, one a.m., and AJ fell asleep while eating pad Thai takeout left over from dinner.”

  “While actively eating?”

  “Yes,” Emmett insisted. “He literally fell asleep sitting at my kitchen table, but he just kept eating.”

  “Seriously?” I managed to ask. We were fake-playing basketball, meaning Emmett and I were mostly wandering around as far from the ball as possible. Luckily on the same team. Avoiding the obvious topics of me versus Riley or Sienna plus AJ.

  “He finished the whole container, fast asleep.”

  “No way.”

  “I took a video,” Emmett said.

  “That is hilarious.”

  “Show you later, if you want. You around after school?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Playing with the tort. Lightning. Or do you think I should change her name to Tempus?”

  “Tempus?”

  “You know,” I said, and had one of those instant full-body sweat attacks I sometimes get when I know I am in the process of saying the nerdiest possible thing, so shut up, but Emmett was standing there in front of me, all cute, his head tilted to the side, his dark eyes latched on to mine. “Tempus fugit?” I said, hating myself. “Time, you know, flies. Because she’s so fast and, like, never stops. Get it? Forget it. Boooo! Could I be any dorkier?”

  He smiled. “That is the truest thing about time.”

  “What is?”

  “That it fugits.”

  I smiled back at him. “Yeah. The truest thing for sure.”

  “Tempus just ceaselessly fugits and nothing we can do about it.”

  “Emmett! Gracie!” Awesome Ms. Washington yelled. “Did you forget you’re in the middle of a basketball game?”

  “Yup!” Emmett yelled back.

  “Is there a basketball game?” I yelled. “We were wondering why everybody keeps running around here!”

  “It’s kind of annoying actually,” Emmett said.

  “A little hustle!” Awesome Ms. Washington yelled. “At least get out of the way?”

  “Sure!” I yelled. “No problem!”

  “But Lightning is good, I think,” Emmett said after we’d jogged to the far corner of the court. “Really good.”

  “My mom really likes it,” I said.

  “Do you?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “It suits her, don’t you think?”

  “It does. But I’m still calling her Flight Plan anyway. Or Tempus, maybe. I’ll come up; we can try out all the nicknames. I have opera tonight, but before that?”

  “Sure. So—he was actually sleep-eating? AJ?” My mouth went completely dry as it said his name, so I had to stop avoiding the ball to hack out some coughs.

  “You okay?” Emmett asked.

  I nodded. “Just choking. Sometimes I choke on, you know, air.”

  “Sure,” Emmett said.

  “AJ doesn’t even choke on pad Thai when he eats it while sleeping?”

  “Just one of his many skills, I guess,” Emmett said. “We can’t all be AJ.”

  More choking from me.

  Awesome Ms. Washington told Emmett to walk me to the water fountain. Hallelujah. Fake-playing basketball is exhausting.

  20

  PLOTTING

  Emmett looked at me quizzically as he was leaving school. I shrugged, not ready to walk home yet, even though I’d gotten out the front door ahead of him. I was bunched up against the outside wall of school with Sienna and the Loud Crowd, plotting.

  Emmett shrugged back and walked alone to the corner.

  Watching him wait for the walk sign, I wished I could just go with him. We’d walk home together, joking about whatever, saying hi to the homeless woman who sits outside the bank and usually asks us if we’re studying hard. Maybe we’d pause to look at the stuff on the table of the guy on our corner. He has really nice jewelry and some unfortunate-looking hats for sale there. Emmett and I always plan which of the hugie hats with the nylon or mesh see-through tops to buy for each other someday.

  But no. There’s not really a way to leave your best friend plotting with the most popular girls and instead go do normal stuff like chat with the friendly homeless woman and fake-choose silly hats. No. There are rules against treason like that when you are a girl and in eighth grade and somebody likes somebody.

  “You have to make sure you wait at least five minutes before you text him back,” Beth was whispering to Sienna. “You don’t want to look over
eager.”

  “I’m not,” Sienna said. “Overeager? I’m so not.”

  “That’s all Beth is saying,” Riley said. “You don’t want to look desperate.”

  “Do I seem desperate?” Sienna asked me.

  “No,” I said honestly. “Desperate to . . . what?”

  “To be asked out,” Riley said patiently, like I was the slowest person ever, then turned away from dummy me to smile at Sienna. “When do you think he’ll ask you?”

  Sienna’s eyes got even bigger than usual, which made her look particularly manga-ish. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I don’t even know if he’s . . . How would I know?”

  “Maybe he’ll text you to ask you out tonight,” Michaela suggested.

  “You think?” Sienna asked.

  They all looked at me.

  “What?” I asked. “Why are you all looking at me? How would I know?”

  They turned back to Sienna. “You’d say yes, right?” Michaela asked her. “If AJ texted you tonight and asked you out? Not like on a date, obviously, but . . .”

  “Oh yikes, a date?” Sienna asked.

  “Right but not,” Michaela assured her. “Just out.”

  Sienna shrugged. “I guess so.”

  “Okay, then.” Riley smiled calmly at Sienna and then at me. “That’s all you need to tell Emmett, then, Gracie. Just say that you can’t tell him how you know, but that if AJ texts Sienna tonight and asks her out, she’d say yes. And then he’ll text her!”

  Michaela and Beth both nodded their agreement. “She’s right,” Michaela said.

  “But wait five minutes before responding,” Beth told Sienna. “Set a timer.”

  “You want me to?” I asked Sienna. “Tell Emmett that?”

  She started to shrug but then nodded a tiny bit. “If . . . I mean, you don’t have to.”

  “Oh, no!” I protested. “I’m totally happy to, if you want me to!”

  “This is so exciting,” Riley whispered. “I mean, you’re actually pretty, Sienna. It’s a little weird you haven’t gone out with anybody yet.”

  Okay, I thought, time for me to go home now.

  “Ouch, Riley,” Michaela said. “Anyway, AJ’s never gone out with anybody yet either, so . . .”

  “Which is adorable, for both of them, is all I’m saying,” Riley whispered. “But he might be a little awkward about getting things started, so we’ll have to, you know, set it all up for him so he’ll do it right.”

  Beth shook her head a tiny bit, like, Yeah, Riley is horrible, but what can you do?

  “Don’t worry,” Riley said. “This is how we always do it. Right?”

  “It is,” Michaela said, shrugging.

  “Just trust us,” Riley said. “And it’ll all work out.”

  Sienna winced.

  “We should go back in for volleyball,” Michaela said. “Come on, Sienna.”

  “I should go too,” I said. “I have to, you know, feed my tortoise. Super busy.”

  “Don’t forget!” Riley called after me.

  “Forget what?”

  “Ugh, Gracie. Tell Emmett,” Riley yell-whispered to me. “To tell . . . you know who . . . about . . . he should text her? And what she’ll say if he—”

  “Oh. Right,” I said. “Sure.”

  “Then text us all and tell us what he says!” Beth yelled.

  I nodded.

  “Maybe this will all happen before Gracie’s party tomorrow!” Riley yelled.

  Unfortunately Dorin was trudging out of school just as Riley yelled that toward me. Dorin looked from Riley to me. She tilted her head, then swallowed hard and watched her feet walking toward Amsterdam, away from where I was waiting for the light to change, and also away from where she normally walks, which is down Broadway. Guess she decided to take the long way around, to avoid me and the party she just found out about and learned in the same second that she hadn’t been invited to.

  The homeless woman wasn’t in front of the bank and I didn’t even say hi to Jewelry/Wacky Hat Man on my way home. That’s how bad I felt.

  21

  RULE OF THUMBS

  me: hey so you wanna come up and help me teach this tortoise some supercoolio tricks?

  EMMETT: Yeah, maybe a summersault? And also I can show you that video of AJ sleep-eating.

  me: excellent. I was thinking we’d start with a cartwheel but sure, a somersault is good too. speaking of AJ . . . he should prob ask out Sienna

  EMMETT: It’s such a funny video. You are gonna crack up, but I have to be back down here to eat by 5 bc my call is at 6:15, so wait, WHAT?

  me: u coming up?

  EMMETT: Um, yeah, but what? AJ should ask out Sienna? Not sure why you’re telling me . . . ???

  me: u shd text him that he should ask her out

  EMMETT: Haha, k. I’ll just text him his marching orders then be up in a sec.

  me: awesome

  EMMETT: Wait, r u serious? This is too weird.

  me: hahahaha idk not my idea just passing along a message yk?

  EMMETT: Oh. So what am I telling him then?

  me: I guess . . . just . . . just say that if he asks Sienna out she’d prob say yes?

  EMMETT: Okay. Just that? “If you ask Sienna out, she’d prob say yes”???

  me: maybe?

  EMMETT: Okay. This is srsly the randomest text I’ve ever sent. Sending it . . .

  me: maybe also: you should ask her out?

  EMMETT: ME? WHAT???

  me: no tell AJ! that HE shd ask Sienna out

  EMMETT: Um, okay, now you want me to text him, “You should ask Sienna out”? REALLY???

  me: IDK

  EMMETT: Maybe YOU should just text AJ?

  me: not it

  EMMETT:

  me: anyway I was told YOU should text him

  EMMETT: Oh, well, then I guess I better get to it. We are just cogs in this machine.

  me: haha yeah exactly what we are: the cogs. we could be a band

  EMMETT: That’s totally our band name: THE COGS. We should learn some instruments.

  me: YES! so are you on the stairs yet? I think the tort is napping. should I wake her up?

  EMMETT: Yeah, texting AJ then omw—tell that lazy tort to get ready to be COACHED.

  me: kk

  RILEY: Gracie! Update us!

  me: I told Emmett and he’s texting AJ

  SIENNA: right now?

  me: yeah

  SIENNA: is it stupid tho if I already know? bc now what I am supposed to do? just sit here and wait to see if he texts me? isn’t that kind of 100 years ago ish?

  me: yes

  RILEY: NO!

  SIENNA: bc honestly, I could just ask him out if I wanna go out w him, which do I even? I mean, I like him but . . .

  RILEY: If you say no now, we will all look like such idiots, Sienna.

  MICHAELA: We? Riley, stop.

  RILEY: Well, mostly Sienna hahahaha, jk. Lol.

  SIENNA: maybe I should just . . . ugh, idk.

  me: are you guys still at practice?

  BETH: just left!!! short one today—like me! Yay shorties!!!

  SIENNA: omg, he just texted me.

  RILEY: WHAT DID HE SAY?????

  SIENNA: how’s it goin?

  me: are you just randomly asking us how it’s going or is that what he texted you?

  SIENNA: :-/

  RILEY: What did you say back? Do you want my car to swing around and pick you up?

  SIENNA: what? no!

  I haven’t texted back anything yet! I am waiting five minutes!

  what should I say? “fine”?

  me: isn’t he at soccer or whatever?

  SIENNA: baseball.

  me: so maybe say how’s baseball? />
  SIENNA: that’s good. I like that.

  me: I am such a poet. I have endless savior fairer

  SIENNA: ????

  me: autocorrect. hahahaha. savoir faire

  RILEY: Gracie, just stop. Sienna is trying to do something important.

  BETH: I thought How’s baseball was a good idea.

  MICHAELA: same

  SIENNA: me too. thanks, Gracie. you’re the bombalicious.

  me: if the bombalicious is cake, I so am. I am the cake. such panache

  SIENNA: panache is the best. that’s the stuff between the cake layers, right?

  me: yup! chocolate panache. yum

  SIENNA: so wait, what should I say, then? exactly?

  me: how about: fine, you? how’s baseball going?

  SIENNA: perfect. I’m literally copying and pasting that.

  me: I’m honored. it’s practically like I’m texting him

  SIENNA: I wish.

  me: dtuyikbfc

  RILEY: What does that even stand for, Gracie? Don’t Tie Up Your . . . ???

  me: nothing sorry dropped my phone

  MICHAELA: hahahaha! GL gotta run bye girls! xoxox

  BETH: text me when you get home, Michaela! <3

  RILEY: Love you guys! Sienna: text him and then tell us what he says.

  SIENNA: kk

  EMMETT: Should I bring Fluff up?

  me: hold on I’ll ask

  me: My mom says no not yet let the tort get used to being here for a week or two before we subject her to racing the rabbit sorry

  EMMETT: Good call, good call, but no extra training sessions for the tort, bc, unfair.

  me: rats foiled again. did you tell AJ?

  EMMETT: Yeah.

  me: is he

  EMMETT: Is he . . . ???

  RILEY: Did he respond yet?

  SIENNA: nope

  RILEY: Don’t panic.

  SIENNA: why would you say don’t panic? I was not panicking until you said don’t panic.

  EMMETT: Gracie?

  me: sorry we’re a little freaked out on this end

  EMMETT: Yeah, a little this side too.

  me: really?

  RILEY: Is your phone def working? Are you on the subway or something?