Cat Ears on Elizabeth Read online

  But not as much as I wanted.

  Not as much as I would have if I were UP in the dumps.

  Chapter 24

  “Do you want something else?” Poopsie asked me.

  “Yes,” I said, because it is a rule in my family: Tell the Truth.

  “Some Jell-O?” Gingy asked.

  “Gingy can make you Jell-O,” Poopsie said. “Elizabeth wants Jell-O!”

  “No, I do not want any Jell-O,” I said.

  “Who wouldn’t want Jell-O?” Poopsie asked. “It is very jiggly!”

  “Not everybody likes food that jiggles,” said Justin.

  “Everybody likes jiggly food!” Poopsie insisted.

  “Different people like different things,” Gingy said. “What do you want, Elizabeth?”

  “I want a headband with cat ears on it.”

  “And Jell-O!” Poopsie said.

  “No thanks,” I said. “I just want the headband and that’s all. But I can’t have it.”

  “Why not?” Gingy asked.

  “Because she loses all her headbands,” Justin explained.

  “Only in the PAST!” I yelled. “You can’t predict the FUTURE!”

  “The future is the hardest thing to predict,” Gingy said.

  Chapter 25

  Uh-oh!

  Fiona’s birthday party!

  We had to get ready fast.

  We had to stop at the toy store on the way.

  “We should just buy a bunch of presents and keep them in the closet,” Mom said to Dad. “We always have to rush on the way to the party!”

  “We could keep all the presents in the State of My Room,” I said.

  “In the what?” Mom asked.

  “Daddy said my room is a State,” I said. “Like Alaska, and Mississippi. And My Room.”

  “That’s an expression, silly goose,” Mom said. “Hurry and pick something.”

  Mom’s favorite word is NO but her second favorite is HURRY.

  I kept that mean sentence inside my private head, too.

  Chapter 26

  There are so many wonderful things in the toy store.

  I wish I could live in the toy store, choosing and choosing.

  I held a cat-ears headband in my hand.

  “Maybe we should get this for me,” I suggested to Mom. “To wear to Fiona’s party.”

  “We’re just buying a present for Fiona right now,” Mom said. “Do you want to buy that for Fiona?”

  Fiona doesn’t talk very much.

  Maybe she would like to meow.

  She would probably like a cat-ears headband.

  I chose a puzzle instead.

  Maybe Fiona likes puzzles.

  It’s not fair if she has a cat-ears headband and I do not.

  Chapter 27

  Fiona’s party was: paint a flowerpot and while that dries, eat pizza.

  Then fill the pot with dirt and choose a lump called a “bulb.”

  Shove the bulb into the dirt in the pot.

  Maybe that is Fiona’s hobby. I don’t know.

  Birthday parties and other people’s houses are sometimes strange.

  “Try not to make such a mess,” said Fiona’s dad.

  “Dirt is dirty,” Mallory whispered.

  “Yeah,” I said. “That’s the truest thing about dirt!”

  Mallory smudged some dirt on her nose.

  I smudged some on mine.

  Chapter 28

  Mallory and I had to go wash up before cake.

  Fiona’s dad said, “Shoes!” as we walked into the house.

  “Why did he just yell shoes?” Mallory whispered to me.

  “Maybe it’s an expression,” I said.

  “An expression?” she asked.

  “That’s when you say nonsense,” I explained. “My family has a lot of those.”

  “Mine too,” Mallory said.

  “It’s a little confusing, honestly,” I said.

  “I agree!” Mallory said. “You’re so smart, Elizabeth!”

  “Thank you,” I said politely. “I know a lot of expressions.”

  “A lot of nonsense?” Mallory asked.

  “Yes,” I said. “I’ll teach you so much nonsense, if you want.”

  “Great!” Mallory said. “Learning new things is great!”

  We looked in the mirror at our faces. They both had nose smudges.

  “We look like puppies!” Mallory said.

  “Woof woof!” I said.

  “Woof woof!” Mallory answered.

  We laughed and washed our hands but kept our nose smudges because we were being puppies together.

  Chapter 29

  “Woof woof!” Mallory said to Anna.

  “Meow,” Anna said.

  “Meow,” said Mallory.

  “Happy birthday, Fiona!” sang all of Fiona’s grown-ups.

  “Meow meow meow meow meowwww,” sang Anna and Mallory and Cali.

  I didn’t sing along because I was the kind of animal that has no meows at all.

  Chapter 30

  Today is not my birthday.

  Today is just a regular Sunday.

  But when Gingy and Poopsie came over, they had a present for me!

  It was a box with a bow on top of it!

  And wrapping paper!

  It was an I LOVE YOU present.

  I never knew there was a kind of present called an I LOVE YOU present before today.

  That is okay.

  Learning new things is great!

  So is a present with the name ELIZABETH on it!

  Chapter 31

  I was careful with the wrapping paper but then I wasn’t.

  While I unwrapped, I sang a song called “My Opening My I Love You Present Song.”

  That song goes:

  I love you!

  I love you!

  I love Gingy and Poopsie!

  And Gingy and Poopsie love me!

  And I! LOVE! I LOVE YOU! PRESENTS!!!

  All that happiness came before I even got the box open and saw what was inside.

  Chapter 32

  A CAT-EARS HEADBAND!

  For ME!!!!!!

  Chapter 33

  “Just what you wanted!” Gingy said. “Right?”

  “Um, yes!” I said, looking closer at that I Love You present.

  My new headband looked a little different from Mallory’s.

  Mallory’s and Anna’s and Cali’s each have two pointy black ears.

  Mine had two soft floofy ears, black and white, and two brown pointy ones.

  “Hooray!” said Gingy. “We went right to the store this morning on our walk! Try it on!”

  Chapter 34

  I tried it on.

  “Do I look great?” I asked Gingy and Poopsie.

  “You look FANTASTIC!” said Poopsie, looking at me proudly.

  “You always look great,” said Gingy. She clapped a few times.

  I looked in the mirror to see if they were right.

  I wasn’t sure.

  Chapter 35

  After a little while I had to take off my cat-ears headband to rest my squished head.

  Sometimes even hardheaded second graders have heads that have to get used to it.

  That is not called being babyish.

  I didn’t lose my new cat-ears headband.

  I just couldn’t find it for a little while.

  Chapter 36

  But then I did find it, right under my cape and blanket.

  Phew.

  Chapter 37

  After bedtime, my stuffed dog-rabbit, Dolores, squinted at my new headband with her one eye.

  “Those are cat ears, right?” I asked Dolores.

  Dolores didn’t answer.

  “A kind of cat ears,” I said.

  Dolores didn’t answer.

  “There are many types of cats,” Mrs. Noodleman whispered.

  “Mrs. Noodleman knows everything,” said Mr. Noodleman.

  But Dolores and I weren’t sure anymore.
r />   Chapter 38

  “This is cat ears, right?” I asked my brother, Justin, while we walked to the bus stop.

  He looked sad and doubting at me.

  “A kind of cat ears?”

  Justin shook his head.

  He is in fifth grade, and very smart.

  “Are they cow ears?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Really? They have to be COW ears? Definitely?”

  “They’re cow ears,” Justin said.

  “Maybe there is a kind of cat that has cow ears,” I tried.

  “And cow horns?” asked Justin.

  “Just because a person is in fifth grade doesn’t mean he knows every kind of cat,” I said.

  “What?” Justin asked. “I didn’t say…”

  “IT’S AN EXPRESSION,” I yelled at him.

  “Okay,” Justin said.

  Chapter 39

  I walked a few steps away.

  I waited for the bus NOT next to that know-it-all brother anymore.

  While I waited, I thought about throwing my new headband in the grass and losing it.

  I imagined Gingy’s face and Poopsie’s face.

  Their happy faces when they gave me this headband.

  Their sad faces if I lost it the first day.

  I imagined Mom’s face if I said the words, “I lost it.”

  Or even the true words of “I threw it in the grass because it was cow ears.”

  But then it was time to get on the bus, and have people tease me for a cow-ears headband.

  Chapter 40

  “Hey, you look great!” Bucky said.

  “Do I, though?” I asked.

  “Cow ears!” he said. “I love cows!”

  I slumped down low in my seat.

  “Look!” Bucky said, and pointed to his arm. “Cow Band-Aid!”

  “Cool,” I said.

  “We’re twins!” Bucky said.

  “Yeah!” I said.

  Twins is good. Twins is, it’s not only you being a cow.

  Twins means you are exactly like somebody, so you’re not alone.

  Bucky is my best friend.

  But I also wanted to be twins with Anna and mostly Mallory.

  Not just Bucky.

  Chapter 41

  All morning I wore my cow-ears headband.

  Nobody teased me.

  I tried to feel great in it.

  Chapter 42

  The not-teasing ended at recess.

  “Hey, Elizabeth,” Mallory yelled. “Are you supposed to be a cow?”

  “Meow,” said Anna.

  “Meow,” said Cali.

  “Meow,” said Rose, who is in Class 2A, so who even knows her?

  But she had a cat-ears headband, too, at recess.

  Nobody else had a cow-ears headband.

  Chapter 43

  “You have to say MOO,” said Mallory, pointing her finger right in my face.

  “Moo!” said Bucky. “Moo, moo!”

  “Elizabeth has to say MOO,” said Mallory. “Elizabeth is the one who is a COW!”

  I thought about if I wanted to say MOO.

  I did not.

  I wanted to say something mean, to make Mallory feel as bad as she was making me feel.

  Or else something like meow.

  Meow is really the only thing I wished I could be saying.

  Chapter 44

  But I couldn’t.

  I had no cat ears.

  I took my cow-ears headband off and walked alone toward the huge tree.

  It is a good tree to look at when you are having loud feelings, Ms. Patel said.

  There is no reason to say mean things, Mom said.

  Chapter 45

  I stopped under the tree.

  I told myself to keep my angry sentences inside my private head.

  Look at that nice bark, I told myself. And those reaching branches.

  Look at those pretty leaves up there, turning so many different colors.

  I must feel calm and happy, now!

  What I did not feel:

  1. Calm

  2. Happy

  What I did feel:

  1. Sad

  2. Left out

  3. Embarrassed

  4. Angry

  5. Head-squished from the tight headband morning

  6. Like Mallory had followed me

  Because there she was, with her cat-ears headband right on her head.

  Chapter 46

  I turned around to be mean at Mallory.

  I yelled, “So what, Mallory? So? I got a cow-ears headband from my Gingy and Poopsie!”

  “From your what and what?” Mallory asked.

  “My Gingy and Poopsie!” My voice was as loud as my feelings.

  They couldn’t stay inside me any longer.

  She asked, “Those are their really names?”

  “Yes,” I said. “And they are very excellent people, you standy-uppy-hair Meanie!”

  Mallory stopped smiling but she didn’t say sorry.

  I was still having very loud feelings, so I yelled very loud, “Maybe they gave me a silly headband but it was an I Love You present! And at least I have clean hair!”

  “I have clean hair, too,” said Mallory.

  “It doesn’t look clean,” I said.

  Which was true, but mean. And I knew it.

  “It is very clean!” she yelled.

  “It is not!” I yelled back. “It’s DIRTY!”

  “It is so clean there’s still shampoo in it!” Mallory yelled even louder.

  “Why?” I asked in a quieter voice.

  Because, why was there still shampoo in Mallory’s hair at recess?

  Chapter 47

  Mallory took off her cat-ears headband and itched her hair.

  “You don’t know why there’s shampoo in your hair?” I asked her.

  Mallory shrugged one shoulder.

  “Did you have a shampoo accident in Class 2B this morning when nobody was looking?” I whispered.

  “No,” she said. “It was last night, at home.”

  She looked very sad.

  “What happened?” I asked her.

  “My mom wanted to rinse the shampoo out of my hair and I fussed and fussed because I didn’t want to. Because I don’t like when it gets in my eyes.”

  “That’s the worst,” I agreed.

  Mallory nodded. “And my mom said Fine, then.”

  “She let you NOT rinse it out?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Mallory said.

  “Wow,” I said. “My mom never says Fine, then. She says, You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.”

  “Yeah,” Mallory said. “That never happened to me before, either, her saying Fine, then.”

  I nodded. We both just stood there, thinking about that, about a mom just saying Fine, then. “Maybe it was an expression,” I said.

  “Maybe,” said Mallory. “But anyway, now I have Shampoo Head.”

  “That’s so cool,” I said.

  “It’s actually very itchy,” she said.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “But, Elizabeth. It is NOT dirty. And it’s mean if you say it’s dirty.”

  Chapter 48

  Maybe I got soothed from being under the tree.

  Maybe my head unsquished.

  I don’t know.

  But my feelings felt much softer.

  “So actually your hair is super clean,” I said. “And it looks like Lion Hair!”

  “It does?” Mallory asked.

  “Yeah!”

  “I thought it maybe looked terrible,” she whispered.

  “No,” I told her. “You always look great.”

  “I tried to smoosh it with my cat-ears headband,” Mallory said. “But it’s getting itchier and itchier.”

  “You should make it standy-uppier!” I said.

  “Like this?” she asked, floofing her hair way up.

  “Yes!” I said. “Now roar like a lion!”

  She did.r />
  Chapter 49

  “Why are you roaring at Elizabeth?” Bucky asked Mallory.

  “I’m a lion,” Mallory said.

  “A friendly lion or a dangerous lion?” Cali asked her.

  “Friendly,” I said.

  “Meow,” said Anna. “Meow, meow.”

  I straightened my cow-ears headband. “Moo,” I said.

  “ROAR,” said Mallory. Then she held out her cat-ears headband to me. “Want to try it on?”

  Chapter 50

  I looked at the headband in Mallory’s hand.

  With the cat ears pointing up so perfectly on the top.

  The exact headband I had been wanting so badly.

  “No thanks,” I said. “Headbands squish my brains out.”

  “But you have a headband on,” said Mallory.

  I took mine off and looked at it.

  “It’s great,” Mallory said.

  “Is it?” I asked her.

  I kept my nasty thoughts about my cow-ears headband inside my private head.

  “You’re the only one who has a cow headband,” Mallory whispered. “So, it’s special.”

  “Oh,” I said. “I didn’t think of it that way.”

  “And it was an I Love You present.”

  “Yeah.” I hugged that cow-ears headband. The only cow-ears headband in the whole second grade.

  Mallory and I lined up next to each other for going in from recess.

  “I never got an I Love You present,” Mallory whispered.

  “I never did before, either,” I whispered back.